Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
