woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
