no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
