Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
