So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
