2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
