I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
