Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
