She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
