I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
