Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
