kristin has been a bad kristin
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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