Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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