Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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