On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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