could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
