I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
