im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
