My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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