Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
