I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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