I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
