Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
