happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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