You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My dick has a subreddit
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
