I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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