hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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