My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
