Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
