Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
