i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
