im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
