Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
