Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
