ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
