Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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