I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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