How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
