I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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