There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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