discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
