I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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