I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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