So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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