in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
