this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
