stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
