Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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