Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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