if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
