Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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