I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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