Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
